I’M DEAD OLD.
Put it this way, the first house I bought on Hedley Terrace in Gosforth cost me £28,000. Yes, it was only a modest two-bedder. But 28 grand! You’d be happy to get a new VW Golf for that now. An entry level one.
As well as massive increases in house prices, much else has also changed in the intervening 40-ish years.
Stay in Toon
We drive electric. Work from home. Witness Newcastle United winning a cup final! Jeez, things really have moved on.
Even the way we buy houses has changed. My experience four decades ago was gawping in estate agents’ windows on Gosforth high street before popping inside for printed copies of property details.
People are much more likely to browse online now. Viewers’ first experience of many properties is a 360 virtual tour from their sofa.
Kids’ stuff
It’s not just stuff that’s changed. Language has also transformed. It had to: its job is to shape and be shaped by the world we live in. Don’t believe me? Play a word game with a kid. Ask them to say the first word that comes to mind after you’ve given them the following prompt words:
- Apple
- Lit
- Spam
When I bought my first house, responses may have been:
- Pie
- Candle
- (Tinned) Meat
Today, younger people are much more likely to say:
- Phone (or another device)
- Great (or ‘awesome’)
- (Junk) email
On the money
These are handpicked examples. But we always invent new words or change the meaning of existing ones to reflect changes around us. Pounds, shillings and pence mean very little to younger people. They’re much more likely to deal in Bitcoins.
But here’s a funny thing. While the world is totes different from the analogue world of yesteryear, some estate agents are using the very same words and phrases they used 40 years ago.
To illustrate my point, below are three (unaltered) examples from descriptions of properties currently on the market.
Example 1
“Arrive through wooden gates onto spacious driveway which has a selection of trees and Beech hedge, with beautiful Gardens, lawns, pond Large patio, Porch and decking area-Perfect for entertaining. With additional Sheds, Green houses and Chicken Hut.”
Is it me? Or has a work experience newbie had a go at this one? The capital letters are so random they can only be guesswork. Why cap up words like ‘Large’, ‘Perfect’, ‘Wall’ or even ‘Chicken Hut’? This kind of slap-dashery distracts readers. Nobody’s getting an insight into the property here: they’re learning about the youngest person in the estate agent’s office.
Example 2
“The internal accommodation is manly OPEN PLAN, whilst ensuring the rooms are all SIZEABLE and FLEXIBLE in their uses. The porch and hall entrance leads to a 20′ sitting room, 12′ sunroom, 17′ family room and further second 19′ SITTING ROOM. The KITCHEN/DINING ROOM extends to some 23′ with a useful rear lobby and STUDY/BEDROOM.”
Oh no. The keyboard’s caps-lock must be broken. This is the reading equivalent of a walk through a minefield. You want to relax. But every now and again, you’re terrified by a CAPITALISED BANG!
Also, it’s impossible for me to say why the ‘OPEN PLAN’ accommodation is described as ‘manly’. Does it reek of cheap aftershave? Are the dishes waiting in the sink for a ‘womanly’ person to wash up? Or is the agent trying to sell the house to Andrew Tate? It’s really hard to work out.
Example 3
“The sitting room also leads from the kitchen, whilst a spacious room the grand Inglenook fireplace adds a distinctive cosy feel to this space and perfectly compliments the reclaimed brick flooring and exposed beams which are full of history and charm.”
My old English teacher would probably whack this writer across the head with a copy of the Oxford Guide To English Grammar for this tosh. Does it even make sense? I’m also wondering why the grand Inglenook fireplace is ‘complimenting’ the reclaimed brick flooring. Does the fireplace fancy the flooring? Is it about to ask it on a date? Or did the writer rely on a computer spellchecker that didn’t take the context into account? Yes, it should have an ‘e’ where the ‘i’ is.
Does any of this really matter? Don’t people just look at the photos and make an appointment to view?
Maybe some do. But if I’m trusting someone to sell my children’s inheritance, I want them to know how to spell and be capable of writing a sentence that actually makes sense. Today.
Get smart
The invention of the internet is arguably the biggest change since I bought my first house. It’s changed the way we live. And it’s changed the way we talk, think and describe the world around us. It’s made informal language the go-to. It’s given us initialisms like WTF, LOL and IMO. It’s stolen the word ‘smart’ off the backs of grey-suited men and handed it to phones and TVs.
Most estate agents have adapted well in many ways in the last 40 years. They feature on online portals. Many do videos of properties. 360 tours. Use social channels.
But some continue to use language that was already dated even when two-bed terraced houses in Gosforth changed hands for less than 30 grand. It’s language that resonates with fewer and fewer of the very people they’re trying to engage.
I’m not saying agents should use emojis and Whatsapp language. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the world has moved on.
I may be dead old. But I can change the way you’re seen.
Buzz me. Drop me a msg. I’d be happy to chat to you about language that attracts buyers in the 21st century.
Let’s create content with even more kerb appeal.
Laters,
– Lucas